start now

“But why not now?” 

What even are these extravagant moments if they aren’t remembered-or worse, if they never occurred because you always held back? 

I was recently asked, “if you were handed a book about your life, would you skip til the very end to find out the biggest mystery life contains?”

Maybe your initial response is “fuck yes I would fast forward my way through season 6 to figure out who the Gossip Girl is before anyone else does”

Or maybe you are rereading your past chapters, laughing at younger self and the back-and-forth thoughts of whether you and Ryan Gosling would get married and whether the wedding would be on an all-inclusive island or in the most magnificent castle on Earth?

Or would you go through page by page, reading your story and absorbing the magic of your greatest adventures (whilst sipping your green tea on your yoga mat in your Lululemon to channel your inner yogi)?

Today, I sit here, soon to be moving onto a whole new road of my life; with the graduation of high school (T-82 days, not that I’m keeping track or anything) and soon to be celebrating another year of my life on this planet (23 days and I’m another year older yet still feel 5). At the beginning of a new year, at the beginning of hopefully pulling myself out from the deepest of trenches and up into the light, I am not going to wait another day to start. I will start here, where I am, scared, afraid, terrified, and all. Not fearing what the future has to hold, not regretting the past, just simply..being. I am moving page by page, moment by moment. Knowing that each day I fight through, my book of stories will only grow longer and longer so I can look back at all the wonderful things I have done. 

Celebrate what you have in this very moment. Your future will come. Don’t rush. Forgive. Live. 

And hopefully many, many, many years down the road (because I will make it through the battles I face and long live the troubles) I will be pretty damn proud that I didn’t wait, didn’t hold back.

So start now, living each moment. Not fast forwarding into the future, not remaining stuck in the past – simply being right here, right now. 

xoxo, maddy

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